Teaching and learning English through jokes

 English is an analytical language. In other words inflections are scarce, grammatical meanings must be expressed by alternative means .As a result of this the English language is abundant in idioms, phrases, homonyms and homophones. Most of the English jokes are based on such play on words. This activities can make the students more aware of the role of the humour in ambiguous words and in this way they can enrich their vocabularies and simultaneously participate in an active language practice.


1.English Language-A poem

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

2.A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Don't understand the joke? "Yeah, right." is a slang expression which actually means "I don't think so." Technically, however, it is a double positive, which proves the professor wrong.

A customer ordered some coffee in a café. The waiter arrived with the coffee. and placed it on the table. After a few moments, the customer called for the waiter.

'Waiter,' he said. 'There's dirt in my coffee!'

'That's not surprising, Sir,' replied the waiter. 'It was ground only half-an-hour ago.'

 
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7.10 Amusing Collective Nouns

1. A cuddle of teddy bears
2. A conjunction of grammarians
3. A promise of barmen
4. An obeisance of servants
5. A staff of employees
6. A fraid of ghosts
7. A nastiness of villains
8. A promise of tomorrows
9. A prudence of vicars
10. A clique of photographers

Malapropisms and Spoonerism

Most of the grammatical errors of the 21st century are careless, and boring in comparison with the 19th century of Sheridan's Mrs Malaprop and Mr William Spooner, which are rich in hilarity and wit.
Malapropisms
Mrs Malaprop: thought does not become a young woman; the point we would request of you is, that you will promise to forget this fellow -- to illiterate * him, I say, quite from your memory.
* Obliterate. A malapropism is where you replace a word with one of a similar sound but different meaning.
Spoonerisms
Mr Spooner: You have hissed my mystery lectures. (You have missed my history lessons). With Spoonerisms you swap the first letters of words to make real words, as a result the sentence takes a comic turn. One side effect is that once alerted, you cannot stop making up spoonerism, especially if the frisky is running whee.
Perhaps you have trouble remembering people's names? We know a couple called Lick and Diz.
Mondegreens
There's a bad moon on the rise as - There's a bathroom on the right. Hearing problem.
Just call me angel of the morning, angel; just brush my teeth before you leave me." (Brush my cheek)

Five Further Funny Grammatical Errors

1. It takes many ingredients to make Burger King great but, the secret ingredient is our people.
2. Slow Children Crossing.
3. "Should Madonna be aloud to adopt again?"
4. Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
5. "Elephants Please Stay In Your Car." (Warning at a safari park).

What did Anne Boleyn's mother say when her daughter said that she had fallen in love with Henry the VIII and was going to marry him?
That man's not worth losing your head over.